My name is Amanda Sharp and I am a lesbian. In today’s society that’s both exhilarating and exhausting. Being gay is hard, for many reasons. Heterosexual friends and family, no matter how supportive they are, will never fully understand what it’s like to grow up in a world where “normal” is never something you will be. Being an ally to the community and being an actual part of it are very different. Straight allies can step away from issues facing the LGBTQ+ community when they need a break. I cannot. Straight allies can choose to be as supportive and involved as they want. I cannot. Being gay is what makes me me, and I will spend the rest of my life fighting so that future generations of kids will not have to grow up feeling as misrepresented and unheard as I did.
When I was first coming to terms with my feelings I seriously contemplated suicide. It wasn’t because I was raised in a super religious, close-minded family. There was just no representation in my community for me to look to as hope I would get through this. My friends who were girls had Juliet. My guy friends had Romeo. And I realized, I was never going to be either. Not seeing my version of the story written out meant I thought there was no story to write. It meant I thought my voice was valueless and there was no point in trying to share my experience because no one cared. I thought no one had ever had the feelings I was having, and I felt completely alone.
To be completely honest, even today I still do feel alone a lot of the time. Writing my story down will hopefully help someone else who’s struggling find solace and realize, that even on the darkest days, there is at least one other person in this world who cares about you and how your story ends….me.
I refuse to continue living my life apologizing for who I am and who I love. I deserve happiness. I deserve equality. I deserve my happily ever after, just like everyone else, so buckle up. I intend to share my opinions, ideas, feelings, and everything in between on this journey to find more acceptance and love in the world.
Feel free to follow along, I can guarantee you one thing…it won’t be boring!
– A.J.S.
A. Sharp Story 