My Family Someday

I sit here tonight.
Still trying to cope.
I can’t find the words
For this love that’s grown cold

It used to burn bright.
It lit up the sky.
But now it’s an ember
In a freezing cold fire.

Your faith is important,
these words in a book,
define every action,
dictate every look.

But please listen now
Because I need you to know.
This was never a choice.
It was out of my control.

It doesn’t define me
In the way that you think.
It doesn’t shine brightly
When I walk through the streets.
Many people could meet me
And may never know.
But that doesn’t matter
Because it’s what makes me whole.

Does it suck being different?
Does it suck being gay?
It’s never been easy,
A harder game to play.

But I will never change this.
I’ve prayed and I’ve tried.
To be happy despite it.
To be happy with guys.

Nothing fulfills me.
Instead I feel weak.
And sit sadly alone
Depressed to be me.

Well not anymore.
That changes today.
Hear me when I say this,
It’s ok to be gay.

And for those who don’t think so.
For those who condemn.
I’ve got just one question…
What if I was your kid?

Would you want me unhappy?
Would you want me alone?
Because that’s how life was
Until I started dating girls.

I felt sad and unhappy
Alone and depressed
And you really want to sit there and try to tell me to spend the rest of my life like this?

I guess I’ll never get it.
How it feels to be you.
But I know that I love you.
Thought you loved me too.

Guess some things aren’t forever.
Family doesn’t mean much.
When you choose to lose someone
Based solely on who they love.

So please hear me clearly
I’ll try to speak loud.
My name is Amanda.
I’m gay and I’m proud.

If you can’t love me.
Because of one little word.
Then I don’t think the Bible
Has taught you it’s worth.

It’s sad to know
That our journey is ending
Our time is fleeting
Dividing our family.

Someday when I marry the girl of my dreams
And there are five empty chairs
just remember one thing

I could have loved you regardless;
regardless of faith,
But the one thing I can’t love
is someone who hates
so I hope you learn to change
for all of our sakes.

Thinking about it.
I’ll be sad to say bye.
But life is too short
To have hate in your life.

Loving a girl has never been easy
But it’s a whole lot easier than saying goodbye to family.

Know that I love you
and wish you the best
And someday I hope
You will come meet my kids.

But if that doesn’t happen
And you never meet my wife
Just know she’ll be beautiful
All dressed in white.

And my kids will be funny, cute and athletic
And open to all regardless. Period.

The future is coming
It’s rainbow and bright
I hope someday you join it
And you are a part of my life.

Just know I’ll be waiting
In case things change
And you want to come
meet my family someday.